Parents' Glossary of Kids' Kitchen Terms

Appetizing---Anything advertised on TV.
Boil---The point a parent reaches upon hearing the automatic "yuk" before a food is even tasted.
Casserole---Combination of favorite foods that go uneaten because they are mixed together.
Chair---Spot left vacant by mid-meal bathroom visit.
Cookie (Last One)---Item that must be eaten in front of a sibling.
Crust---Part of a sandwich saved the starving children of: China, India, Africa, or Europe (check one).
Desserts---The reason for eating a meal.
Evaporate---Magic trick performed by children when it comes time to clear the table or wash dishes.
Fat---Microscopic substance detected visually by children on pieces of meat they do not wish to eat.
Floor---Place for all food not found on top of chair.
Fork---Eating utensil made obsolete by the discovery of fingers.
Fried foods---Gourmet cooking.
Frozen---Condition of children's jaws when spinach is served.
Fruit---A natural sweet not to be confused with dessert.
Germs---The only thing kids will share freely.
Kitchen---The only room not used when eating crumbly snacks.
Leftovers---Commonly described as "gross".
Liver---A food that affects genes, creating a hereditary dislike.
Lollipop---A snack provided by people who don't have to pay dental bills.
Macaroni---Material for a collage.
Measuring Cup---A kitchen utensil that is stored in the sandbox.
Metric---A system of measurement that will be accepted only after forty years of wandering in the desert.
Napkin---Any worn cloth object, such as short or pants.
Natural food---Food eaten with unwashed hands.
Nutrition---Secret war waged by parents using direct commands, camouflage, and constant guard duty.
Plate---A breakable frisbee.
Refrigerator---A very expensive and inefficient room air conditioner.
Saliva---A medium for blowing bubbles.
Soda Pop---Shake 'n' Spray.
Table---A place for storing gum.
Table Leg---Percussion instrument.
Thirsty---How your child feels after you've said your final "good night".
Vegetable---A basic food known to satisfy kid's hunger - but only by sight.
Water---Popular beverage in underdeveloped countries.

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