JunieBug's Kuntry Kitchen-Kooter, the Kuntry Kat

Meeowdy! I'm Kooter! The Kuntry Kat! I share dis here Kuntry Kitchen with JunieBug. She don't know how lucky she is that I 'low her to stay here. She brung me here when I was just a little fella and told me, "Kooter, dis here's yer new home." So I figgered I cud let her stay too, seein's how she rescued me from that dadburned nosey ole dawg that's allas hangin' 'roun'. His name's Kipper and he thinks he can sneak up on me when I'm in the rocky chear on the front porch. He acts lak he wants to be my fren', but, hey. I know better. Now don't get me wrong. I like dawgs. Especially with a little mustard (eh eh eh).

One of my favorite pasttimes is sleeping in the mailbox. Yep. Keeps me high and dry when I need it. Scared the mailman a few times. I shore lernt never to sleep backwards. He thought my tail was a snake and dadburned near to kilt me when he slung the "snake" across the whole front yard. Guess he didn't know it was attached. I was dizzy fer a week frum that ole oak tree I hit. He shore gots a good arm. "Hey, Mr. Mailman. Did ya ever play baseball?"

JunieBug is allas trying to get me to play with a toy. Last night she kumd home with a dadburned mechanical mouse. Stoopid thang just ran back and forth and 'roun' and 'roun'. Big deal!

Wal, I guess she meant well. What am I supposed to do with that thang? Must be tryin' to make up to me fer sumthin'. Guess I'll figure it out sumtime. As far as mouses go, I prefer them with cheese! (H-m-m-m, I wonder why there ain't mouse flavored cat food.)

Yesterday, she took me fishin'. FISHIN'!!! I never caught one can all day. Twouldn't have dun me no good iffen I did, I didna have a can opener with me. She kept ketchin' those funny lookin' things with teeth and wings and bubbles. She must've been squeezing them purty hard cuz their eyes was fair to poppin' out of their head! I think I'll stick to a can of tuna.

JunieBugs got so many birdhouses 'roun' here we must have ever kind of bird there is livin here. Gets so a body can't take a snooze anywheres with all that squawkin' goin' on. You'd think we were runnin' a dadblamed hotel for flappin feathers.

Oh, Yikes, here comes that dadburned Kipper again. I'd better skeedaddle afore he finds me. It's been purty nice a'chawin' with ya. Kum back and see me agin.


8 big ole mice
8 fat ole birds
12 fishes
6 big ole buckets of water
frum the frog pond
(the one with the green stuff on top)

Jes' toss it all in the same pot and stew (bild a big ole far right in the middle of the yard) for about 6-8 hours or one good night of prowlin'. Remove from the far. Don' worry about the color. Green is good.

Enjoy all the "floatees" that come to the surface. These are mouse ears, fish eyes, bird bills, mouse claws, and other little tasty morsels. (You can fry them in a pan for sum crunchy tidbits.) U-u-m-m-m good!

Walp, that's all fer now. Here kums JunieBug, and she's gwine put me on her lap when she sits in her rocky chear on the porch. I gotta ack lak I don't see her. But I'm looking forward to mah nightly rubdown. A-a-a-h, life is s-o-o good.

(Meow, purr, purr)

Oh, by de way. Iffen ya get a chanct, drap on by and pay a big howdee to "Echo, my citified cuzzin". He lives in a house what ain't got no rocky chear, but he's got laf good all de same. He laks to work on the puter wif Granny2shoes.

My cityified cuzzin

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